


"Pay attention to me."

by benhalfway



Series: Ballum One Shots [8]
Category: Ballum, EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Clingy Ben, Comfort, Cuddling, Fluff, Gamer Callum, Like really minor, M/M, like kissing and touching and mayyybe a little grinding, minor smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:34:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29126562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benhalfway/pseuds/benhalfway
Summary: Callum has been ignoring Ben all week to play on the xbox with his online friends and Ben has had enough.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Ballum One Shots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1571590
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	"Pay attention to me."

**Author's Note:**

> This is a new and improved version of a fic I wrote back in May last year. Bare in mind while reading this that it's set in 2019.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this! I definitely prefer it to the original but I might be a little biased haha.
> 
> If you have any *constructive* criticism for me, please feel free to leave a comment letting me know how I can improve. I love hearing people's feedback on my work.
> 
> Thank you,  
> Chloe xx

Ben groans when he walks into the living room and finds Callum sat on the sofa in nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, with his headset on and an xbox one controller in his hands.

Everyone who really knows Callum knows he loves his video games.

It's a chance for him to get away from everything, to slip into a virtual world for as long as he feels necessary and forget about his worries for a while.

And while Ben understands this and respects it, this is now the fifth night in a row that he's walked in and found him totally engrossed in his game, yelling at his online friends and ignoring Ben.

His _boyfriend._

"No, no, no! Stop doing that, you pri- NO! Oh, thanks a lot, mate! You just fucking killed me!"

Ben bites back a laugh as he makes his way over to his stress head of a boyfriend. He sits next to him on the sofa, throwing his arms around his neck and kissing him on the cheek.

"Hey, babe."

He grins, resting his chin on his shoulder and gazing up at him lovingly.

Callum doesn't even budge or give him so much as a smile in return, completely engrossed in his game, much to Ben's disappointment.

"Babeee. Pay attention to me."

He frowns, burying his face in Callum's neck. He just wants to be held after the stressful day he's had at work.

But Callum continues to ignore him, too focused on his game to pay any mind to anything else. Even his boyfriend who just wants a cuddle and nothing more.

Ben pouts, nuzzling his nose against Callum's cheek like a kitten.

He just wants him to at least acknowledge him but nothing is working.

"Cal? ...baby?"

Nothing.

He sighs heavily, resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder and staring longingly at the TV, watching Callum's Fortnite character run around a field shooting purple zombies with a shotgun.

He's never understood the hype around the game. It looks so unbelievably dull but Callum is addicted.

Suddenly, an idea pops into his head and he smirks, pressing a quick but delicate kiss to the corner of Callum's mouth before getting up from the sofa and leaving the room.

Callum remains oblivious, listening to his friends talk through his headset and only responding when they ask him a question.

A few minutes pass before Ben returns to the living room, waltzing over to the sofa in his dressing gown with nothing on underneath.

He's also wearing his thick black glasses because Callum has some sort of strange kink for them, always preferring that Ben wears them during sex.

Not that he minds when he doesn't. Ben looks unbelievably gorgeous either way. He just prefers him with them on, thinks they bring out the kindness in his eyes.

"You can't ignore me forever, babeee!"

Ben says in a sing-song voice, lowering himself onto Callum's lap who gasps when he sees him.

"Fuck."

The single word comes out in a low whisper, Callum not wanting his friends to hear him, biting his lip softly as he looks his boyfriend up and down.

Ben places a hand under his chin, gently pulling his head forward so he can kiss him slowly and sensually.

Callum sighs into his mouth, dropping his controller onto the sofa so he can place his hands on Ben's hips, gently stroking his fingers over the exposed skin there.

"Halfway? Halfway!"

Callum pulls away from the kiss at the sound of his friends' shouts, causing Ben to frown.

"Are you seriously going to pick them over me _again_?"

Callum looks back down at Ben, and when he sees the vulnerability swimming in his baby blue eyes, he feels terrible.

He shakes his head, pulling Ben impossibly close and proceeding to kiss the life out of him.

He lets his hands roam all over his body before landing on his bare arse where the dressing gown has rode up to his hips.

He gives his arse a good squeeze, revelling in the soft moan that escapes his throat.

"Halfway, where did you go?!"

Callum pulls away from Ben with a sigh, giving him an exasperated look to which he responds with a shrug.

"Tell them you need to go. In fact- tell you what, I'll make you a deal. If you turn off your game and pay attention to me for once, I'll let you take this off and we can do whatever...you...want."

The last few words are said between kisses, Ben's hands moving up to Callum's neck, his fingers grazing over the tiny hairs at the nape of his neck.

Callum likes the sound of that. He smiles against Ben's lips, bringing his hands up to cradle his neck.

"However..."

Ben pulls back so Callum can see his face. He needs him to know he's serious about this next part.

"If you choose to keep playing, you're not getting any action for the next week. I mean it."

Ben speaks in a hushed tone so Callum's friends won't hear, running his hands through his boyfriend's soft but messy hair, making sure to move around his headset.

"U-Uhh lads? I need to- _fuck_ \- I need to go now."

He hopes the shakiness in his voice isn't too obvious as Ben slowly grinds his hips against Callum's, sucking and nipping at the skin on his neck.

"Oh, there you are! What the hell are you up to? Is there someone there with you?"

Callum opens his mouth to speak but Ben cuts him off, leaning closer to the microphone so Callum's friends can hear him.

"Sorry boys, but Callum's a bit busy right now...isn't that right, _babe_?"

He puts lots of emphasis on the final word, dropping his hand to Callum's crotch and giving it a good squeeze.

Callum can't help the soft moan that escapes his throat, and all of a sudden a bunch of 'oooohs' and 'ohhhhs' erupt from the headset before his friends fall into fits of laughter.

"Halfway's getting some action! Go on, my son!"

One of his friends, Sam, cheers excitedly.

Callum groans, his cheeks turning bright pink and Ben can't help the light laugh that comes tumbling from his mouth. He loves making Callum all hot and flustered.

"Shut up, Sam. You're such a prick."

Ben smirks, watching the tips of Callum's ears go red with embarrassment while his friends laugh loudly, sounding like a wild pack of hyenas.

"Look, I need to go, alright? We'll play again tomorrow or something. I've been neglecting him all week and now he's being a diva."

He winks, clearly just wanting the attention to be on someone else instead of him.

Ben rolls his eyes but stays silent, letting his dorky boyfriend have this one thing. He figures he deserves it for caring enough to turn off his game when he asked him to.

Even if he did have to both bribe and blackmail him at the same time. Something he's worryingly good at, Callum's noticed.

"Aww ok. Have fun, lovebirds!"

Lee chimes into the conversation in a sickly sweet tone, causing Callum to roll his eyes and Ben to smirk.

"Oh, we will."

Ben speaks in an overly seductive tone, just to annoy him, grabbing his crotch through his boxers which causes him to yelp in surprise before letting out a weak moan.

"See?"

He grins devilishly, finding himself _way_ too funny.

"Ben!"

Callum hisses, turning bright red as his friends erupt into fits of laughter. Ben just shrugs, smiling innocently.

"That's what you get for ignoring me all week to play this dumb game. As you put it, I'm being a diva, ain't I? Now gimme that controller."

Callum picks up the controller and hands it to him with an exasperated look. Ben smiles sweetly, taking it from his hands and bending his body back to put it on the coffee table.

Callum's hands immediately fall to his waist, giving his hips a light squeeze before pulling his body as close as humanly possible.

"Right, I've _really_ gotta go before he starts making dick jokes. I'll speak to you all tomorrow."

A chorus of "See you laters" ensue before Callum reaches forward and grabs the controller, holding the middle button down until the option to turn the console off comes up.

He does just that, placing the controller back on the coffee table along with the headset so he can give his boyfriend his full, undivided attention.

"Now, where were we?"

He smiles, pulling his beautiful boyfriend in for a slow and passionate kiss, gently stroking his hands up and down his sides.

Ben smiled against his lips, bringing his hands up to rest on Callum's shoulders as he slowly grinds his hips forward, his crotch rubbing against Callum's once again.

Callum moans against his mouth, dropping his hands to Ben's arse and giving it a good squeeze, eliciting a small moan from Ben.

"We should probably..."

Callum trails off suggestively, pointing to the door that leads into the hallway.

Ben nods and smiles, stilling the movement of his hips so he can jump off Callum's lap.

Callum stops him however, hooking his hands under his bare thighs and lifting him up. Ben immediately wraps his legs around his waist for support.

"Are you gonna carry me? I'm a bit heavy, babe."

He laughs, but Callum can hear the shakiness behind it. Ben's clearly feeling insecure about his body again but he doesn't need to. He's perfect.

Callum knows that Ben won't listen if he tries to reassure him so he just shakes his head, carefully standing up from the sofa with Ben clung to him like a koala.

"You're not heavy, babe. How can a literal elf be heavy?"

He gives him a teasing smile, earning a glare from Ben who would slap him if he wasn't carrying him.

"Come on then."

He gives him a quick kiss before carrying his lover out the room and up the stairs to their bedroom.

Ben wastes no time crashing his lips into Callum's, wrapping his arms around his neck while Callum tightens his grip on his thighs, leading him to their bedroom without once breaking the kiss.

Once they reach the bedroom, Callum drops Ben onto the bed before immediately climbing on top of him and reattaching their lips.

He lets his hands roam all over his boyfriend's beautiful body, fingers gliding over all his little lumps and bumps; imperfections to Ben but not to Callum.

To Callum, they're marks of who he is. Scars that hold memories behind them; some good, some bad, but all important because they shaped him into the man he is today.

"Mmm...you're so beautiful."

He sighs into Ben's mouth, bringing his hands up to cup his face and feeling the warmth spread to his cheeks as he blushes from the compliment.

"Shut up."

He laughs, pulling away temporarily to compose himself before crashing his lips straight back into Callum's.

They lie there for a while, kissing lazily, hands roaming all over each other's bodies, just enjoying the close proximity.

They haven't gotten properly intimate like this for so long now due to Callum being _too busy_ , so Ben wants them to take their time rather than rushing into it.

And Callum fully respects his wishes, only now realising how much he's been missing out on.

He hadn't realised until now just how much he's missed _this_ ; just kissing, touching, holding, feeling. It's something so wonderful, so _beautiful_.

"I love you."

Ben sighs into Callum's mouth, wrapping his arms around the older man's neck and snuggling as close to his boyfriend as physically possible.

Callum stops kissing him so he can speak, and Ben looks up at him with a look of confusion written all over his face.

"I love you too. So, so much. I'm sorry I've been neglecting you, I just got so caught up in the game and-"

Ben cuts him off by smashing their lips together in a bruising kiss; one filled with fire, and passion, and lust; a kiss filled with love, and devotion, and _everything he has to give._

He wants Callum to feel it all, to know exactly how he feels about him. To know just how much he truly _adores_ him.

He stops kissing him after a while, but keeps his hands resting lightly at the nape of his neck; fingers ghosting over the tiny hairs growing back there in a feather-light touch.

"It's okay, babe. Honest. Just don't do it again. I can't go another five days, or seven days or whatever, without _this_. Just kissing, touching, holding. I've missed you _so much_."

He sighs, leaving a trail of soft kisses from the corner of his mouth to his cheek, followed by his jawline, then his cheek, then the corner of his mouth, and then finally on his lips.

"I know we cuddle in bed at night but it's not the same, 'cause we're going to sleep then. I don't get to properly enjoy it, y'know? By the time I'm comfortable in your arms, ready to talk about my day, you're out like a lightbulb."

He presses three more kisses to his boyfriend's lips, savouring the taste of strawberries and chocolate and _Callum_.

"I know. I'm sorry, darling. I hope you know that I never meant to push you out. I just got so lost in the game, in this virtual reality where all of my problems just...don't exist, that I didn't take the time to sit back and think about how this must be affecting you."

He sighs, gently stroking a hand down the side of Ben's face. He sniffs, trying his damned hardest not to cry.

"I love you so much. I just want you to know that. I don't say it nearly enough, and I don't really show it, but I don't know what I would do without you. You're my world, Ben. A life without you in it would be no life at all. I'd still be the miserable, lonely, stupid closet-case I was before I met you."

He laughs wryly, wiping at his eyes to prevent any tears from falling.

Ben frowns, placing his hand over Callum's where it's resting lightly on his cheek, letting him know he's there in the only way he knows how.

Their love language is definitely a sensual thing; little touches here and there, and glances that speak a thousand words; words that they're both too scared to say out loud – have never said before, in fact.

One of the many things they have in common is that they've been hurt too many times to count. They've both loved and lost, and they both grew up in pretty similar environments.

They share each other's pain - or a lot of it, at least.

Neither of them have ever really been good at showing affection, never truly understanding the meaning of the word 'love' since they weren't exactly shown a lot of it by the people who were supposed to care.

That's why they work so well together. They * _get_ * each other. They're learning and growing alongside each other – learning how to love, and how to _be loved._

And sure, there's been a lot of obstacles along the way, and they've still got a _long_ way to go...but they have each other, and that's all that matters right now.

"But uh, what I'm basically trying to say is that I do care about you, even if I don't always show it. And regarding the whole gaming thing, I won't get carried away like that ever again. I promise. From now on, if you want a cuddle, you're gonna get a cuddle. If you just wanna sit and talk about your day, that's what we'll do. I don't care what I'm doing. Nothing's more important than you."

Ben smiles gratefully, unable to even _begin_ to fathom how the hell he got so lucky.

He's somehow, by some some sort of _miracle_ , managed to bag the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful guy in the world - and he has no idea what he did to deserve it.

"I know I kind of promised we would uh...you know, but can we wait until tomorrow? I just wanna cuddle. It's been a pretty stressful day."

He sighs, and Callum chuckles softly, gently stroking a hand down Ben's arm.

"Ben, darling, you don't have to explain yourself, alright? If you don't want to have sex, we don't have to. Just cuddling is fine. As long as I've got my beautiful boyfriend, that's all that matters."

Ben colours at the compliment, burying his face in Callum's chest so he can't see how much he's blushing.

Callum smiles fondly, dropping several kisses to the top of his head.

"You're so adorable."

He lets out a little happy sigh, nuzzling his nose into his boyfriend's hair and inhaling the sweet scent that is so Ben.

"You promise?"

Ben lifts his head just a little so he's looking at Callum's face when he speaks.

His hearing aid works just fine but sometimes he likes to lip-read, because quite often he finds that the odd word or sentence slips past him if he's not looking, particularly in a hushed setting like this one.

"...do I promise that you're adorable?"

Ben shakes his head with a little sigh.

He needs to be more specific sometimes. People aren't mind-readers.

"No, uh...do you promise that it's okay? That I don't want to, you know...have sex?"

He chooses his words carefully this time, trying to be as clear as possible with what he's asking.

Callum sees a vulnerability swimming in his eyes that he hasn't seen in a long time. He sighs sadly, bringing his thumb up to gently stroke over his cheekbone.

He wishes he could take away the years upon years of abuse, neglect and pain that Ben has endured, and take away all of his insecurities at the snap of a finger.

He knows it's impossible, but it doesn't stop him from wishing that things could've been different for Ben.

He just wants his boyfriend to see himself for the funny, kind, smart, talented, _beautiful_ man that he truly is.

He wants him to learn to love himself, or at least _like_ himself. He wants him to be happy. Always.

"Of course, darling. Sex isn't the be all and end all, y'know. All that matters to me is that I've got you. I love you and you love me. Shouldn't that be enough?"

"Of course! Of course. I'm sorry, Cal, I just- I'm just not used to this uh, this love stuff. I thought me and Paul were gonna be together forever and look how that ended. I'm scared. I'm scared I'm gonna mess it up, or- or drive you away with my dumb insecurities. Even my insecurities make me insecure. It's like an endless loop."

He anxiously gnaws at his fingernails, accidentally biting too hard on his thumb nail and drawing blood. He winces, sucking his thumb in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

Callum sighs, pulling his hands away from his mouth and holding them close to his chest, stopping him from hurting himself any further.

"Ben...you could never drive me away. We all mess up sometimes. Making mistakes is part of growing up, and I know you're 23 but you're still growing up. You're still learning. But that's not your fault, ok? And it's certainly not something to be ashamed of. I'm right here, yeah? I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be by your side. Through thick and thin."

He smiles reassuringly, leaning down to kiss Ben's forehead, then his nose, then his lips.

Ben sniffles, trying his best to keep his emotions intact.

"I love you."

Callum smiles warmly, tucking Ben's head into his chest and cradling him close.

"I love you too, baby. More than anything or anyone in the world. And nothing and no one is going to ruin that, I promise."

While he speaks, he peppers his hairline with small, soft, barely there kisses.

Before long, Ben is fast asleep in Callum's arms, expelling soft, quiet snores that melt Callum's heart into a giant puddle. He really is so adorable.

It's only roughly around 6pm, but Callum doesn't care. If Ben is tired, he's tired. He would have to be some kind of _monster_ to wake him up when he looks so peaceful.

He smiles down at his sleeping beau, gently stroking a hand through his hair and down the side of his face.

"Sleep tight, beautiful."

He presses one more soft kiss to his forehead before shifting into a more comfortable position for the both of them and closing his eyes.

Within no time at all, Callum is fast asleep beside him, both men content, happy and peaceful in each other's arms.

These are Callum's favourite moments; just sleeping – holding. These are the times where they're most at peace, and he wouldn't trade these moments for the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!
> 
> I hope this was okay😬
> 
> I've been debating deleting the original for a while now because I don't like the way it was written. The grammar was pretty bad and it didn't make a lot of sense.
> 
> But people really loved it for some reason, so I thought I'd rewrite it!
> 
> My writing has improved a lot since then. At least, I'd like to think it has. I still have my doubts, hence why I've not posted in so long...
> 
> It's not that I haven't been enjoying writing. I've been writing nonstop every day!
> 
> But once it's done and I'm proof-reading it, I start to have my doubts and then it never gets posted. Anxiety is a BITCH.
> 
> Anyway I'm rambling now. I just wanted to explain why I haven't posted in so long.
> 
> Thank you all so so SO much for all the love on my fics so far! Your kudos and comments mean the world to me, and are the only reason I haven't stopped writing altogether.
> 
> I really appreciate you all <3
> 
> All my love,  
> Chloe xx


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